Hello, hello, hello! (Is there an echo in here?) No! We're just so excited to give you another update that we are repeating, repeating, repeating our greeting, greeting, greeting (okay, I'll stop).
How have you been?
-Are you tired? Well, our blog will energize you! Or, it will put you to sleep. Either way, it's a win-win!
-Sad? No worries! Our humour (that's right, it's spelled like British humor) will make you laugh until your spleen ruptures (please do not send us your medical bill).
-Ready to read our update? Awesome! Read on! (If you don't really want to read on, but figure since you brought up this page on accident (you actually meant to go to Anin and Nairb's Nebraskans in California blog post) that you should at least humor us by pretending to read the following post, we appreciate that too).
What have Brian and Nina been up to in the last few weeks? Well, last time we spoke with you we were caught in the freezing grasp of a freak blizzard.
(Freak) (Blizzard)
Okay, we exaggerate (just like that callama in the pic above, he only swallowed a baby panda). Actually, we haven't received as much snow as North Platte usually gets by this time of year. We must have brought the warmth of California with us when we came. No? You say we don't have that kind of power or influence over mother nature? Then how do you explain this?
+ 
=
Sorry, but you can't argue with this.
It's math.
No real snow yet, but we are eagerly waiting! You may ask (don't you love how we write in so many of these rhetorical questions? You probably love it even more than us answering these rhetorical questions for you with such long answers that you have to look back up in the paragraph to figure out what we're even talking about and what the original question even was!) what do you two do while waiting for this snow?
Great question!
Nina has become an amazing literary scholar in her spare time. Under her warm, plaid blanket, through her focusing purplish-pink glasses, Nina has been reading 19 Minutes by Jodi Picoult (pronounced Pi-coult, not Pi-coul-i with an Italian inflection as Brian likes to say it).
Awwww...this book looks so sweet. 19 Minutes is probably best friends with Nicholas Spark's A Walk to Remember; looks like 19 Minutes belongs in that romantic genre doesn't it? Well, here's the truth:
"In nineteen minutes, you can mow the front lawn, color your hair, watch a third of a hockey game. In nineteen minutes, you can bake scones or get a tooth filled by a dentist; you can fold laundry for a family of five....In nineteen minutes, you can stop the world, or you can just jump off it. In nineteen minutes, you can get revenge."
Wow, sound interesting? What if we tell you that 19 Minutes isn't a romantic book at all. What if we tell you it's a psychological thriller/heartbreaking look at a 19 minute school shooting? An amazing read. Seriously, add it to your "To Read" list (now, make sure to add it to the "to read" list you actually read from, not the "maybe I should read this book because someone suggested it and I don't want to be rude and just say 'no' to their face so I'll add their book to my imaginary "to read" list so they'll stop bugging me about it" list).
Now, before you go off to your nearest bookstore or to Amazon to buy 19 Minutes for your Kindle (you technologically savvy reader, you), allow us to update you on what Brian has been up to in the last few days.
But wait, before we get to Brian's main hobby in the last few weeks, we would like to share with you a theory we have come up with. Time to put on your "open-mind" hat on. Think about our following proposition and our evidence. Let it soak in. Consider it.
Okay, here it is:
Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio are the same person. More accurately, Leonardo DiCaprio is Brad Pitt in costume.
Evidence #1: Brian can not tell the difference between these two actors. He thinks Pitt was in Inception and Shutter Island; DiCaprio was in Benjamin Button. In Brian's defense, DiCapro and Pitt look eerily similar:
(Remember the theory: Pitt puts on facial make-up to become DiCaprio)
Evidence #2: While DiCaprio and Pitt are both phenomenal actors, they have very rarely ever been in a film together. Coincidence? We think not. You movie buffs out there are probably asking, "What about Inglorious Bastards?" Good point; though, we would like to point out that there are many movies in which one person plays two characters seamlessly (the original Parent Trap anyone?)
Okay, so now that we have fully convinced you that these two actors are one in the same, we are sorry to say that the above was just a farce. That is, unless our theory is actually right...
Let's move on to what Brian has been up to. Lately, Brian has been on an inventing kick. He's not sure why he likes to invent so much. Maybe he's the great-great-great grandson of Thomas Edison (that would be cool wouldn't it?), or perhaps because his Grandpa Roland Fleming was an inventor, or it could be because his father, Edward, is still an inventor, whatever the reason, Brian has to entertain his creative ideas every once in a while. So, during the last few weeks, Brian has been pursuing an idea he developed while feeling his fingers freeze on the steering wheel as he drove to work.
Brian has taken this problem and developed an invention, which he has coined, "The Freeze Generator". Hopefully, if Brian can pull it off, it will end up looking something like this:
Needless to say (though we're going to say it anyway, just to be annoyingly obvious), this will take Brian some time to make.
We will update you as the Freeze Generator hopefully evolves from a computer design to a finished product which makes Brian & Nina millions of dollars, allowing them to retire early to write blog posts on a more frequent basis (lucky you!).
That's all for now! So, in case you have already forgotten what this posting was about (or you skipped down to the bottom of this post so that you could tell us "oh yea, I read your post"), here's a quick summary in mathematical terms:
Brian & Nina + Nebraska = Warm Nebraska Weather
Jodi Piccolt + School Shooting = 19 Minutes
Leonardo DiCaprio + Hours of Make-up= Brad Pitt
Brian's Freezing Fingers + Inventing Genealogy = "The Freeze Generator"
Bam! Done! Finished!
That's all folks!
Until Next Time...
Love the idea of a freeze generator ,,, what keeps it going?
ReplyDeleteWow, that's quite a blog. What does the freeze generator do? Does it freeze things or does it unfreeze Brian's fingers? Sounds like fun either way.
ReplyDelete